The theory of independence.

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Independence is a tricky thing.

On the one hand, you are slapped with an unbridled freedom to decide on practically everything. Though, the room for error is greater as the usual checks and balances are absent. On the other hand, too much freedom could be disconcerting and even exhausting at times.

In the grand scale of things, the best thing to do is to gauge the benefits from the drawbacks. For instance, you could go home anytime. No one would remind you of curfews. This rule applies at any time of the day, and any day of the week. You could read books in a coffee shop until the wee hours of the morning without regard to whoever will open the gate or the front door. There are no blabbermouth relatives, loudmouth siblings, or nagging moms to remind you of your unusual soirees, order of business, or just about anything.

Curfew is one thing. Money is another. There is much leeway on how to spend your financial resources. Living alone demands that you balance your finances until the next paycheck/salary/allowance, whichever is applicable. You may splurge your money one day on a cool Hermes belt, and scrimp for the next few days or weeks. Or you may save until your bank account translates to retirement pay even at the age of 35.

However, there’s also the seemingly terrible part, primarily related to being alone. You wake up and sleep only in the company of pillows, unless of course, you are accustomed to bringing people/random strangers for “sleepovers”. Then, you have to take care of yourself when you are sick, which translates to cooking food, drinking meds, and bringing yourself to the nearest hospital. On normal days, you do your own laundry, clean your house, and feed yourself to stay alive.  You can’t expect breakfast in bed. Paella, prawns, and blue marlin are offered only in the nearest restaurant, and if you are too tired to move your ass, you will end up ordering Chinese food for take-out.

The funny thing is, at 16, you would want to get out of your parents’ house. If you’re from the province, you will be fortunate enough if you are enrolled in a school in Manila. This means a new environment sans the control and supervision of your folks. This, however, is lost upon reaching the age of 30, when you would want to be with someone: To do the exact things you have escaped, frowned upon, or completely hated when you are much younger.

Then again, life is one big ball of tricks, and oftentimes, you don’t always get what you want.