Revolution by numbers.

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I have never registered for Philippine elections.

Early on, I have often felt betrayed one too many times by leaders whom I thought were virtuous and trustworthy. I don’t believe I can ever recover from my cynicism and lack of interest.

I have often thought that this might be attributed to colonial thinking. Our colonial mentality and history might cut deeper than our silent contempt for almost all things local. Somehow, our colonial mentality goes to the very core of our inability to arrive at a consensual decision and follow it, even on the smallest scale. We have oftentimes forgotten what it means in creating a nation for ourselves. I wonder if Manuel L. Quezon has correctly predicted that at one point the Philippines would be run like hell by Filipinos.

For almost four hundred years inside the convent, our colonial leaders created, shaped, and established our nation for us, forcing us to swallow hook, line, and sinker the concept of an ideal society. And after a few centuries of brainwashing, they might have actually succeeded. In truth, however, we lost a sense of collaboration, of self-policing, and to an extent, of social responsibility that we so admire in other countries now.

Thus, we have been generally reduced to a nation notorious for disregarding rules. We can be holier than thou, but become instant violators the moment we see an iota of benefit for us. Observe the classic illustrations of traffic-related incidents and government issued IDs. You hate people cutting the line, but would take the opportunity to do the same if given the chance.

Grinding the basics, maybe it’s also due to the fact that these rules were made without even our active participation and agreement. Leaders constantly assume, under the mantle of pseudo-intellectualism, that the laws and rules made are for everyone’s best interest. In reality, the populace’s participation is limited to electing leaders, and some are even swayed by popularity, favors, or money. Not having any direct part in nation building, most of us just feel detached.

Sometimes though, collective action like EDSA I (and even II) stir our memory of what true nationhood means, and for a brief instance remind us of how it feels to be part of a greater call bigger than our usual selves. The sad part is, we forget too easily, and everything becomes a blur.

But electing a good leader is just the start. It’s actually just half of the bargain considering even good leaders have the propensity to fail. Leaders imply followers, but with our history of always being the followers comes the propensity of behaving like the proverbial sheep. What we might need is a reassessment of our idea of a “leader” and our relationship to him. 

Sadly, the Philippines must have missed the most important lesson of the previous millennium. While today’s superpowers fought to reconcile conflicting notions of nationhood, country, and authority with that of self and individuality, we have constantly struggled to avoid disappointing one colonial master after another. And maybe, just maybe, this is the hell that Quezon is referring to: our post-colonial mentality has stuck akin to a sluggish traffic at EDSA Ortigas during a rainy day Friday sale in Megamall.